Published Dec 12, 2014Kitchener, ON pop punk trio Courage My Love released their latest LP Spirit Animal this year and recently showed off the new material at their hometown's KOI Fest. But drummer and vocalist Phoenix Arn-Horn has more than her music to share. She took to social media this past week for a public coming-out message and to offer support to other young gay people.
On Wednesday (December 10), the musician posted the following message via Facebook:
Turns out I'm gay. I've known since I was 14 and my parents knew since even before then. Don't be scared to be yourself. People have told me not to post about it because it might "hold me back," but I'm proud of who I am and the beautiful girls I've dated. People have even told me not to post about it because it could "limit our fan base." Honestly, I don't write music for those people.
I write music because it's the only way I can exorcise certain parts of myself. I write music for people with the same demons as me. I know there are people out there going through things that need some form of release. People like me. THAT's who I write music for. If someone listens to a song I've written and it helps them in some small way, then I've done what I set out to do. And I'll try not to listen to the people that bring my sexuality into the equation, because that's not what this is about. My sexuality has nothing to do with it.
She followed it up with another message yesterday (December 12), which reads:
Some of you probably already saw, but a few days ago I posted something really important to me on Twitter/Facebook. I've never really tried to hide it, and it's probably pretty obvious, but for the first time in my life I typed out the words "I'm gay" and posted them. It might not seem like a big deal (and honestly it shouldn't be), but to me it is. I can't tell you how liberating it is to come right out and say it. I've known since I was 14 and my parents and sister knew since even before then. I'm so lucky because none of them even cared.
Unfortunately I can't say the same for some other people.
I had a rough time with it as a teenager, I still don't even really want to talk about it. I still try not to even think about it. The worst part is, I know I'm not the only one. I'm not the only one who has things they can't talk about, or memories they've worked hard to block out. And I got off easy compared to most of them. I was lucky enough to have a supportive family and for the most part, supportive friends. Others don't…
If something I say can get someone else through the night okay, why the fuck would I not post about it? HOW the fuck could I not post about it? I know that not everyone will see it the way I do, I know that not everyone will understand, but at this point, I don't care. If I'm the one that stands up and says something, then maybe there's someone else out there who will see that it's okay. If I'm the one that the hurtful words get aimed at, then maybe it will take away the hurt from someone else. I'm sorry for the people that won't understand or get offended. I'm sorry that it bothers you so much. The thing is, I'll always be sorry for you, never sorry to you. Hopefully one day you can see the difference and one day we can be friends, because if you got to know me, you'd know that I'm just like you.
I know I might get some hate for this but I also know that it doesn't matter. Not anymore. I would've cared when I was 14. But things get better. People can be kind. The world is a beautiful place. Love you guys, thank you.